When a Client Dies by Suicide

What No One Tells Therapists

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon when my phone buzzed with a message I’ll never forget.

“Do you know who ________ is?”

Yes, I texted back. That’s my client. Why?

“He died by suicide. The police saw the agency’s number on his caller ID.”

Everything stopped.

This is the call no therapist ever wants to receive. And yet, it’s a reality more clinicians face than we talk about. I sat in silence, shocked and frozen. I didn’t know what to do next.

The Weight of Responsibility

He was one of my first clients when I started at that agency. His history was long, traumatic, and complex, including over 30 psychiatric hospitalizations and multiple suicide attempts. The week before, I had seen him after his most recent discharge. He had completed three rounds of ECT. He looked terrible, exhausted, cognitively impaired, disconnected. I was worried.

I contacted Mobile Crisis. They evaluated him and determined he could return home.

That was the last time I saw him.

No Protocol, No Pause

I went to work the next day.

There was no policy, no direction, no one telling me to take the day off, no one suggesting I cancel my sessions. I was expected to move on, keep seeing clients, stay on schedule, and hold it together.

So I did what most therapists in this situation do: I stuffed it down and kept working.

I connected with his other providers. I was told what he wrote in his final note, which offered a small measure of comfort, but no real closure.

Years Later, the Grief Caught Up With Me

It wasn’t until a few years later that everything I had been carrying came to the surface. I was in a training about suicide loss and grief groups. The facilitator told us that if we had experienced a suicide loss, we could use that story during the role play.

When it was my turn, I tried to speak—but no words came, just tears.

I was overwhelmed, not just with grief, but with fear: What were the other therapists thinking? Did they believe I failed him? I started rambling, trying to convince the room and maybe myself that I had done everything I could. That I wasn’t a bad therapist. That I did help him.

This is what so many clinicians go through after a client dies, especially by suicide. You replay every session. You search for missed signs. You live in the tension of grief, guilt, and professional doubt.

What I Know Now

What I needed in those moments was not only clinical supervision but. I needed grief support. I needed someone to acknowledge that this work and loss had left a mark. And that I wasn’t alone.

We don't talk enough about what it means to grieve our clients or how those losses linger in our bodies and hearts long after the workday ends.

If you’ve experienced the death of a client, if you're carrying silent grief or secondary trauma, I want you to know this: you are not alone, and your grief matters.

Join Me in Making Space for Grieving Clinicians

If you're a therapist navigating your own loss—whether personal or professional—join me for

Grief and Growth: Supporting Therapists in Times of Loss.

This course is a dedicated space for clinicians to explore grief, find connection, and gain insight into what support can look like in our profession.

Register now and take the first step toward acknowledging and honoring your own grief.

Register at: https://erenadigonis.ce-go.com/live-event/grief-and-growth-supporting-therapists-in-times-of-loss-2025