The Critical Need for More Grief-Informed Therapists

“Grandma said you didn’t like your last therapist. Can you share what wasn’t helpful?” 

A ten-year-old girl with curly blond hair looked down at her feet. “She treated me like a baby, and she never asked me about my dad, but I want to talk about him,” she replied quietly. 

Sadly, this is not an unusual story. Many clients come to me after working with a previous therapist who was not grief informed. Their reasons for switching to a new therapist have included: 

• “My therapist changed the subject anytime I talked about my loved one.” 

• “They didn’t ask about my grief or the person who died.” 

• “They mentioned the five stages of grief, and I felt like I was doing it wrong because I wasn’t angry.” 

• “I felt like they minimized my grief and didn’t really hear me.” 

• “When I mentioned my loved one, they just stared at me and didn’t respond.” 

These experiences highlight the gap in grief education for many therapists. Research shows that approximately 60% of therapists received no education in undergraduate or graduate in grief and loss. This was true for me—I had to look outside my social work department for relevant coursework in the religion department and the nursing department. Considering that grief touches every client in some form, whether through death, end of relationships, moves, changes in jobs, or other life changes, it’s puzzling that grief isn’t a core component of our college education. 

Why Being Grief-Informed Matters

Grief-informed therapy acknowledges the profound impact loss has on all aspects of life. It equips therapists with the tools to support clients as they navigate their emotions, relationships, and sense of purpose after a death. Being grief-informed means creating a space where clients feel safe to explore their feelings without judgment or avoidance. 

The Risks of Being Ill-Prepared

When therapists lack grief training, they may unintentionally: 

• Avoid discussions about death out of discomfort. 

• Minimize a client’s loss, leaving them feeling unseen. 

• Default to oversimplified or unhelpful models like the five stages of grief. 

• Miss critical opportunities to help clients process their emotions. 

Grief is not a problem to solve or a timeline to follow. It is a complex, personal experience that varies from person to person. Without the right training, therapists risk causing harm instead of providing support. 

Benefits of Grief-Informed Therapy 

For Clients 

A grief-informed therapist provides a space for clients to express their grief openly. Clients who feel validated and understood often experience a significant reduction in feelings of isolation and shame. Grief-informed therapists help clients understand that: 

• Grief doesn’t follow a linear process. 

• It’s normal to experience waves of emotions, numbness, or physical symptoms. 

• Their unique way of grieving is valid. 

By offering coping strategies and helping clients find meaning amid their loss, grief-informed therapists empower clients to adapt to life after a significant loss. 

For Therapists 

Therapists who are grief-informed approach these conversations with confidence and empathy, reducing their own discomfort with death. They are better equipped to: 

• Engage in meaningful conversations about grief. 

• Avoid clichés and dismissive responses. 

• Hold space for clients without rushing them through their emotions. 

Understanding grief also lowers therapists’ own death anxiety, enabling them to connect with clients without projecting their discomfort. 

Creating a Safe Space for Grief 

One of the most important aspects of grief-informed therapy is learning to hold space. This means offering patience, presence, and understanding without attempting to fix, minimize, or rush the grieving process. Grief is not something to be solved—it is something to be experienced, acknowledged, and integrated into life. 

Grief-informed therapists give clients the freedom to explore their loss without judgment. They normalize difficult emotions, such as anger or numbness, and provide the validation clients often struggle to find elsewhere. 

A Call to Action for Therapists 

If you haven’t received grief training, now is the time to start. By becoming grief-informed, you will not only improve the care you provide but also grow personally as you deepen your understanding of this universal human experience. 

Grief-informed therapy allows clients to feel supported in ways that make a profound difference, helping them navigate one of life’s most challenging journeys.

Want to learn more? Join us for the 3 Day Continuing Bonds Training at Silver Bay YMCA on Lake George, NY or virtually via Zoom. This training will include 14.5 CEs from EngagedMinds Continuing Education plus Certification as a Grief Informed Professional through Evergreen Certifications. Learn more here.