Learning in Layers

Why Some Concepts Only Land the Third (or Tenth) Time

I used to feel embarrassed when something didn’t “click” the first time I learned it.

In school and early clinical trainings, I thought I had to get it right away—especially if others around me seemed to grasp it easily. If a concept felt fuzzy or abstract, I assumed the problem was me.

But over time, I’ve discovered something much more accurate—and far more compassionate:

Learning is layered. Especially in trauma work.

Some ideas don’t land until you hear them again… or again… or at just the right moment in your personal or professional journey.

I remember the first time I heard about the “Window of Tolerance.” It was interesting, but abstract. A year later, during a case consultation, it clicked. Suddenly, I could see it in my clients—and in myself. Now, it’s foundational to my work.

This has happened with Polyvagal Theory. With parts work. With even the simplest grounding tools. Sometimes, we need to experience something, revisit a training, or return to a resource with new eyes—and then the concept fully lands.

In trauma-informed learning, this makes perfect sense. We’re not just memorizing facts; we’re metabolizing ideas. We’re trying them out in real life. We’re unlearning old patterns, staying open to new frameworks, and returning to things with deeper awareness.

Now, I tell students and colleagues: if you don’t get something right away, that doesn’t mean you’re not smart or capable. It just means you’re human—and learning in a nervous-system-informed way.

Here’s what helps:

• Revisit trainings with curiosity, not criticism

• Reflect on how a concept lands now vs. when you first learned it

• Normalize needing multiple exposures to integrate new tools

• Value application as much as comprehension

• Create space for experiential learning, not just intellectual understanding

If you’ve ever felt behind in a training or confused about a modality that others seem to grasp easily, I want you to know: you’re not behind. You’re learning in layers—and that’s exactly how deep, embodied understanding grows.

Let’s keep showing up for ourselves with compassion, curiosity, and a willingness to return—again and again—to what truly matters.